AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I literally want to scream and punch my fist through the wall.  My mission to lose weight is not going well at all.  I am really disappointed in myself cos I did so well in the first few months and now i've lost all motivation.  I used to go to the gym nearly everyday and now it's down to 1 or 2 days a week.  How bad is that?!  Every morning I wake up and tell myself that today is a new day and i'm going to be good, i'm going to eat well and i'm going to exercise but halfway through the day i'm eating chocolate and chips and feel too lazy to go to the gym.  My main problem is that I have an eating disorder, an "I'm Always Hungry Disorder".  If i'm not eating then i'm thinking about food and sometimes it just takes control of my life.  Aaaarrrggghhhhh!

Urgh!  Someone please just help me.  Give me some motivation please!  Give me some tips on healthy snacks I can eat at work, stuff that will fill my hunger and taste nice too.  Give me tips on good breakfast recipes, i'm sick and tired of having Special K cereal everyday.  Please help me, I need to lose weight but at the moment it's just not happening.  I'm too afraid to weigh myself as I know for a fact that I must have put on everything that I initially lost.

I just want to cry.  You must be thinking that i'm such a baby and maybe it's that time of the month and it's depressing me even more, but everytime i look at myself I just see fat and ugly.  I know people say that it's what on the inside that counts but we all know it's not true.  A good looking guy nor any modelling agencies are going to go for a fat pig. 

Sorry if this sounds like a pity post but I just had to let it out and I know that only you guys will listen.  Friends and family don't understand at all.

x

Hey girls (and guys!)

Sorry I don't have any thinspo for you today.  I know it's been a long time since I posted but definately soon I will have some for you.  Hopefully next week.

Anyway, i've not been eating so well lately.  I have been having a bowl of cereal, usually Special K or Weetabix for breakfast.  I have it at around 7am but when I get to work I get hungry by 9am and then start snacking on junk!  Aargh!!!  I keep telling myself not to do that but each day the hunger pangs just get worse and I have to eat some junk!  I have tried to drink more water but that just makes me even more hungry.  Oh yeah, I got myself a 1.5 litre bottle and i'm going to try and drink 1.5 litres of water everyday.  It's a start I guess.  Better than not drinking any water at all, which is what I used to do before.

I'm still going to the gym and the last time I weighed myself I had lost 7 pounds.  I will weigh myself again next week on Sunday and hopefully I should have lost some more.  Very unlikely I guess due to the amount of shit i've been eating *sigh*

On to my hair now...I believe it's improving.  I had completely stopped straightening it for 2 months or maybe more and instead I walked around with a stupid frizzy fuzzy mophead!  I finally straightened it today and found that during the straightening process I was getting alot of hair breakage. Yeah so as I was straightening I found alot of hairs breaking off and falling to the floor.  Does this happen to everyone else?  Or is it just me?

I think maybe the organic SLS free shampoo has helped my hair breakage.  But one thing I don't like about organic shampoo is that it doesn't lather well and my hair always ends up looking greasy afterwards.  And this is after shampooing twice!!!

Dabur Vatika hair oil has probably been my biggest saviour though.  I love the stuff and try to apply it before everytime I wash my hair.  Although this week I didn't get a chance due to being extremely busy.

I'd say my hair is still pretty fragile so i'm not going to start straightening it all the time.  I'll carry on doing what I have been doing and I pray to God that the hair I lost starts growing back again quick.

That's all folks :)

Watch this space for some sexy asian thinspo xxx